


Sick

by devin1039



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 01:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1921311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devin1039/pseuds/devin1039
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam can't stop thinking about Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick

Sam's shoes made slapping sounds on the wet pavement. They sounded so loud in the quiet night. It was chilly out, and the youngest Winchester hadn't bothered to put on a jacket. He needed some time to think things through, time to clear his thoughts. Being in love was awkward enough, but with his own brother? There was something sick about him. There must be.

Sam paid no attention to where he was walking, just wanted to end up somewhere that wasn't home with Dean. Or maybe he _did_ want to be home with Dean, in his arms, listing off his sins as if he were in confession. Maybe that way he could be forgiven for the pulsing thoughts that riddled his mind. He shook his head and looked up to the sky. It was a beautiful, clear, night. Millions of stars peeked out from the dark velvet of the sky. They seemed to wink at Sam. They seemed to know something that he didn't.

He was stupid, personifying stars. Even if they were alive, why would they be communicating with a vulgar little boy? The Winchester let out a sigh that ghosted through the cold air, a plume of white mist that soon dissipated. He was only fifteen. Maybe this was a phase. _But you know it's not,_ his mind countered. This was twisted and stupid and so _stressful_. If he had been pining over a girl that would be fine, maybe even some guy, but this? Dean?

If he ever said anything Dean would hate him. And why shouldn't he? He was a freak. There was no reason for him to go home. The only thing that mattered to Sam there was his brother, and there was no chance he was going to face him. If he did, well, he was sure to break down and tell him. Sam had a vision of Dean chasing him out of the motel with his gun. No. He couldn't face that. Sam jumped when he heard his name being called. He closed his eyes, praying that it wasn't who he thought it was, even though he knew it was no use. Dean caught up to him, grabbing his shoulder from behind. Sam stiffened.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Dean yelled. “It's two in the freakin' morning and you decide to go for a moonlight stroll?” Dean's eyes were wide, and it was obvious that he was angry.

“I'm sorry.” Sam mumbled, looking down. He was all too aware that his brother's hand was still on his shoulder.

“Sorry? Sam you could have been killed! What was I supposed to think? I thought you got nabbed by the witch we're hunting.” He shook his head and sighed. “Don't scare me like that again, okay?” He looked at Sam sternly. He was so close. Sam could kiss him if he really wanted to.

“Dean...” Sam started, pushing his brother away with his hands on the others chest. Dean didn't budge, and Sam's hands stayed there.

“What?” The older Winchester asked softly.

“I... I can't come back.” Sam whispered, holding back tears.

“The hell you can't.” Dean said, worry evident in his voice. Sam closed his eyes against the tears. He just wished Dean would go away. It hurt to be around him.

“I love you.” Sam admitted in a hoarse whisper. He expected Dean to back away, to roll his eyes and laugh, to tell him to get a grip and come back home.

“Sammy...” Dean said softly. “Are you okay?” Sam laughed and shook his head. Tears were sliding down his flushed cheeks.

“No. No I'm not okay. I love you and it's sick and wrong and dumb and I'm stupid for even thinking-” Sam rambled before being interrupted by a pair of whiskey tasting lips on his own.

“Shut up.” Dean said softly, smiling as he wiped Sam's tears away with the pad of his thumb.


End file.
